The Burden of an Extraordinary Life
Sometimes I think we don’t realize the power of words. So, even though I’ve talked before about a normal life versus an extraordinary life, truth to be told, I’m not satisfied with those categories. It seems to imply that if we choose a normal life we’re wrong, and if we opt for an extraordinary one, that’s the way for fulfillment.
This said, I don’t know in which other way I can refer to the path we decide to live on. Therefore, I’ll try one more time to describe what they consist in and why I support the idea of differentiating them.
A Normal Life vs an Extraordinary Life
Without getting into a heated discussion on what’s right or not, the normal life can be understood, from my point of view of course, as the life you’re probably already living. In your day-to-day you do certain activities, mostly by necessity or obligation, others by personal choice. You have to work in order to pay the bills and cover your basic needs as well as some additional comfort. You must eat, watch your hygiene in order to take care of your body and have the energy for the daily routine. Some might also choose other activities to take care, too of their mind and spirit.
How does a normal life look like? Let’s just say you wake up, get dressed, go to work, eat, go back home, spend some time with friends and family, watch TV, etc. Each person will have his own version.
However, it’s seems we’re lacking a component here: that which you want to achieve.
You know I don’t believe in goals. I would rather talk about systems. You also know I’m inclined to the idea of ‘being’ before ‘busy doing.’ I preach about the importance of living in the now, instead of staying stuck in distant times, whether it’s in the past or future.
Having said all that, we can’t deny that we are all trying to be better everyday. Some take it seriously and work for it. Others stay with empty words. And here’s where we can start seeing the difference between a normal and an extraordinary life.
Those who manage to turn their words into actions and put their efforts into building and living the life they’ve planned to, those brave soldiers, they have an extraordinary life. Those who only build castles in the sand, they stick to a normal life. Your choice, your path.
Let me repeat it, I’m not here to judge which path is better, if there’s a right way at all or what suits you. As I mentioned in the previous post, right now you have the life you want.
How does an extraordinary life look like? Probably pebbly and steep, but at the end of the day you know you’re where you’re supposed to be. The activities from a normal life are still there. Nevertheless, your actions answer for your values. The latter are present in everything you do. What price are you willing to pay to climb up into the tallest, most unpredictable and satisfying rollercoaster there is?
The Burden of an Extraordinary Life
“Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die” (Passage of a blues sang by Albert King)
If achieving every single thing we’ve set out to do was easy, we would all live extraordinary lives. No complaints, envy, jealousy, frustration, and helplessness would exist. Maybe, positive psychology and all those studies to help us be happy might not have seen the day of light.
But, as Nietzsche said:
“He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.”
That How is your burden. It depends on you, however, if you prefer the pain to the road to a well-lived life or the pain from your regrets. Now, let’s talk about that pain, that cross we have to carry. And for such purpose, allow me to tell you in which phase I’m in, the reason, actually, why this post is being written.
Three months ago approximately, my husband and I decided to go to a sport dietitian. We felt we needed to improve our diet due to our new training requirements. We were given a menu, by which we were eating every week, between the two of us, 30 eggs approx., 71 fruits, 10 tuna cans plus other portions of fresh fish, 500g in legumes, 500g in rice and quinoa and A LOT of vegetables. We started a new plan to build the habits necessary for dealing with food preparation. We experimented with cooking throughout the week. But, we were getting into bed late. Then, we’re having trouble to wake up early in the morning to train. By the end of that first week, we’re totally overwhelmed and exhausted. Nevertheless, we had to go on. We decided to try cooking everything on Sundays. Next week we felt amazing, but we spent more than five hours cooking non-stop that Sunday.
Week after week, every time I knew Sunday was coming, I would find it hard to get up. I knew what was ahead of me for the day. Suddenly, eating the same stuff all the time, even though we’re changing one legume for another and the like, became boring. Come on you can do it!
We went to our second appointment with our dietitian. I was absolutely resolved to request some changes in our diet. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be sustainable for me. After some encouraging words, we started to understand in which other ways we could work with food (preparation, ingredients, etc.). Motivated, we started a new experiment. Days after, we decided to become vegans. And even when we’re now cooking the food in different ways, which means, we have more work, it’s been more manageable. We can now feel every flavor in our meals. The benefits we’ve been experimenting from day one are still there. Therefore, the reason, the why for all this sacrifice has been worthy.
Sometimes, I still get tired of cooking. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to cook on Sundays (we’ve found a way to be more flexible with that). Life circumstances get in the way, too. You feel constantly overwhelmed.
However, a healthy lifestyle is my priority, it’s my North. Taking care of my health and the environment are part of my values. So, come hell or high water, we’ll keep hanging there because we have a purpose worth following. This is my extraordinary life.
As Brené Brown said, in her book “Daring Greatly:”
…a surefooted and confident mapmaker does not a swift traveler make. I stumble and fall, and I constantly find myself needing to change course. And even though I’m trying to follow a map that I’ve drawn, there are many times when frustration and self-doubt take over, and I wad up that map and shove it into the junk drawer in my kitchen. It’s not an easy journey from excruciating to exquisite, but for me it’s been worth every step.
What’s left then is…
How to Carry Your Cross?
With flexibility, self-compassion, and gratitude.
You show flexibility when you don’t manage to keep a habit or your system falls apart. “Falling down is allowed, getting up is mandatory” (Proverb). Keep trying, keep going as the transformative moment might be right at the corner.
A specific aspect you’re implementing has turned to be too overwhelming or not very sustainable? You couldn’t do it one day? Go back to your previous routine ad get back on track the next day.
“Thinking of change as a PROCESS and commitment as an INTENTION…” (Orsillo and Roemer in The Mindful Way Through Anxiety).
Show self-compassion because you’re not perfect. Also, changes are not usually that simple, specially when your values and paradigms are involved.
Finally, show gratitude for having the courage to live fully, for not accumulating regrets, for seeing the past as a teacher so that your present is aligned to what you believe.
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Bonus:
And if you’re lucky, surround yourself with people who share your values. Build a network ofE support for those moments when your inner voice hectors you about quitting.
